26 Thoughts to Get You Through a Crisis

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be
6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world
10. Things are more like they are today then they ever were before
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism
16. If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody
17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap
18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame
19. One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays
20. By the time you make ends meet, they move both ends
21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious
22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets
23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on
24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it
25. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
26. The trouble with life is, that you're halfway through it before you
realize it's a "do-it-yourself" thing.