Thursday, August 28, 2003

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

An interesting interview with Os Giness.

Dick Staub

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

QotD2: "Having a cause means making your people think your company is worth their time and their energy." (from Joe Grimaldi, president and CEO of Mullen) from Joanne S.

QotD: "Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man." (Trotsky) from Fred L.

Monday, August 25, 2003

For those who thought the hardest part of Physics 101 was the constant
conversion from MKS or CGS units to English units, here are some useful
English system conversions:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite
year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line 
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
365.25 days: 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital: 1 I.V. League

WASHINGTON BUREAU: Terry Mattingly's religion column for 08/20/2003

The telephone rang after midnight and sleep was not an option for the Rev.
Martin Luther King, Jr., after he answered it.

It was late 1956. Years later, King quoted that hellish voice: "Nigger, we
are tired of you and your mess now. And if you aren't out of this town in
three days, we are going to blow your brains out and blow up your house."

King ended up in the kitchen, meditating on the mystery of evil and
worrying about his family. He began praying out loud, voicing his feelings
of weakness, frustration and fear. Soon, he fell into a waking dream in
which God gave him comfort and courage. He glimpsed the future.

The next day, King told reporters: "I had a vision."

This became a touchstone event and shaped one of his signature themes. But
the wording had changed by the time King reached the Lincoln Memorial on
Aug. 28, 1963. By then the voice of the Civil Rights Movement was crying
out: "I have a dream."

Four decades later, this speech may be the only exposure that millions of
young Americans have ever had to King's preaching and writing, said Drew
Hansen, author of "The Dream," a new book that offers an in-depth analysis
of the history and content of the speech.

This is sadly limited view of a complex man and his times, said the
30-year-old Seattle lawyer. But many who watch or read this speech may be
inspired to learn more. After all, that is what happened to Hansen during
a Yale Law School class on civil rights. He dug deeper and what he found
was both inspiring and sobering.

"It's easy to focus on this speech and King's victories and all those
barriers that fell back in the days when things were so bad," said Hansen,
an evangelical Christian who graduated from Harvard and also studied
theology at Oxford University.

"Focusing on this speech alone is certainly a lot easier than meditating
on all of the barriers that remain. ... But still, this is a wonderful
place to start as we give King the homage that is his due as a preacher,
public philosopher, field general and prophet."

It is crucial to grasp the context. Hansen noted that King traveled about
275,000 miles and delivered at least 350 speeches during the year of the
March on Washington. Witnesses said he worked on the text up to the last
minute, literally marking out passages and scribbling in others as he sat
waiting to speak.

Hansen's book includes material from rough drafts prepared by aides as
well as a side-by-side comparison of the text as King wrote it and then
delivered it. This includes detailed descriptions of the preacher's vocal
inflections and use of dramatic pauses and repeated sentence constructions
that let his listeners to respond to his words like skilled jazz
musicians.

"King knew how to read his audience," said Hansen. "That had been part of
his training since he was a little boy in his daddy's church. This address
was a case of a talented preacher getting caught up in a call-and-response
experience, not just with the audience in front of him, but with the whole
nation.

"That's why these words touched people then and they touch people now."

It was supposed to have been a political speech. Yet nearly every
significant metaphor in it can be traced to a biblical source, noted
Hansen. Growing up in black Baptist churches, King had been baptized in
the words, grammar and imagery of the King James Bible. This provided a
solid foundation as he spoke to African Americans and, ironically, to
white Protestants in the Deep South. King knew that the Bible had
authority -- authority to inspire and to judge.

This is what King turned to as he faced the nation. The entire "I have a
dream" section of the speech was not in his written text.

"He wrote a political address," said Hansen. "It's not that other people
wrote a political address for him. King's own draft was nothing like a
sermon. But the speech he actually delivered was not dominated by that
kind of political language. He left lots of that out and everything he
added was rooted in biblical images and themes. That changed everything."


Terry Mattingly (www.tmatt.net) teaches at Palm Beach Atlantic University
and is senior fellow for journalism at the Council for Christian Colleges
& Universities. He writes this weekly column for the Scripps Howard News
Service.
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Thursday, August 21, 2003

QotD3: "Chance favors the prepared mind." -- Louis Pasteur

Quoted by Allan Ackerman

QotD: "For every rhyme, there is a reason. For every metric, there is an objective." -- Anon

Quoted by Allan Ackerman

The latest fad: Flash mobs. These folks need a hobby. Still, I find it fascinating.

FlockSmart.com

QotD "Faith in God is less apt to proceed from miracles than miracles from faith in God." Frederik Buechner

Friday, August 15, 2003

QotD: "The wise man will always choose to suffer wrong rahter than to do wrong." Plato

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Yahoo! News - Unabomber Wants His Bomb Back

Maybe the government should send him to the same way he sent them to other people.

Monday, August 11, 2003

QotD: "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked." Mark Twain

Sunday, August 10, 2003

2003 Results

Worth a few mintues when you need a grin.

Dick Staub

Excellent advice indded about vacation an recreation from Dick Staub

Dick Staub:

Jsut a couple of quotes from the circus in California. I can't beleive the WSJ couldn even hint that Arnold is capable. At least Jesse V had some platofrm.

"Some will want to dismiss the recall election as a circus, but it has energized politics in the state like nothing in decades. Protected by gerrymandering and special-interest cash, the political class has been driving our most important state in the direction of a stagnant, socialist Europe. Maybe an immigrant from Europe who made his fortune here is just the man to rescue California from that fate.

 Wall Street Journal editorial, on Arnold Schwarzenegger's run for Governor, Wall Street Journal, August 8th, 2003
 
 

 



Even in the thought-free environment of late night television, his vague ramblings about pumping up Sacramento and telling the politicians 'Hasta la vista, baby' sounded surprisingly mindless.

 New York Times editorial, on Arnold Schwarzenegger's run for Governor, New York Times, August 8th, 2003
"


Just one more sign that the apocalypse is upon us.

I don't think being a magna cum laude from Harvard was anywhere near as valuable as being Gopher on the Love Boat.

Fred Grandy, actor and ex-congressman explaining the Hollywood advantage when running for political office, Reuters, August 8th, 2003

Friday, August 08, 2003

Random numbers hit and miss: Maths pinpoints cause for faulty computer simulations.

Fascinating article.

QotD: "...if you want to know who you are, watch your feet. Because where your feet take you, that is who you are." F. buechner

Thursday, August 07, 2003

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Who cares? Another sign that the apocalypse is upone us!

This community of about 3,500 people straddling Interstate 70 about 30 miles from Vail is dealing with a media onslaught in the wake of the Bryant charges. The county fair and rodeo closed Sunday night, but motels and restaurants are filled this week with a different kind of visitor.


A few blocks from downtown, a temporary parking lot across from the county courthouse was jammed with television satellite trucks. Workmen were building a string of covered platforms for the obligatory live camera shots outside the court where Bryant will appear on Wednesday.

QotD: " A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing personal opinion." Proverbs 18:2